Published by Pinay.com
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| I learned a lot about motherhood in the most unconventional way. |
My mother is a beautiful complex creature like no other. She
wasn’t like most moms, not prone to exhibiting sappy affections or wearing
aprons. When we were newborns, she rarely carried us in her arms, afraid that we
would accidentally slip off her fingers. The carrying was left to the
nursemaids, but the nurturing she did herself in the most unconventional but
still loving way. And she carried us through life this way. Even after she’s
passed, she continues to carry us with her memory, memories that inspire and if
nothing else, makes us smile.
1. Make treasure out of trash
My mother was a packrat. During trips to the states to visit
family, she’d return with balikbayan
boxes of stuff she’d hoarded mostly from dollar stores. Amidst the packed
towels and trinkets, I’d find pine cones. I simply dismissed it as part of her “hoarding”
tendency, then I later discovered that they were pinecones that she’d picked up
during her many walks with her grandkids. They’d collect pinecones, stones, and
whatever “treasures” they could find, making an adventure of their walk. It was
one of the things that my sister-in-law most remembered about her. I know now
that the treasure was really in the memory. These seemingly insignificant objects
that we tend to ignore have created a cherished memory for my family, more
valuable than any precious stone. She had found joy in what had fallen or what nature
had rejected. My son never had the privilege of walking with his grandmother, but
he had “inherited” that interest in looking for treasures during our walks.
2. Don’t let life bully you
“Be good,” “don’t start a fight,” are some of the usual
reminders a mother would give her child when sending her off to school. Not my
mother. What would stand out even to this day was: “if somebody pushes you,
push back” and always, “fight back.” She is by no means a war freak but when it
comes to her children she can put up a good fight. We are not to be pushovers, she
said. She taught us to always fight back like she did, never allowing life to
beat her down. Even on her deathbed, she wouldn’t let pneumonia beat her,
holding on much longer than the doctors expected.
3. Walk
that extra mile
She loved to walk, whether it be for a religious pilgrimage
or a shopping spree. She could walk the whole length of Nathan Road in HK till
sundown and bring me to tears in exhaustion. And through all the miles covered,
I never heard her complain. That kind of resilience she took with her to almost
any life marathon she endeavored. No matter how hard life was, she kept on
walking.
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Dedicated to my beautiful Nanay.
Dec 25, 1935 - Sept 11, 2014
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